Unrealistic Expectations

A viewer asks, “Christopher, one of my family members has unrealistic expectations. Don’t you think that’s a problem?” Well, it sounds like it’s a problem for you, so let’s talk about that.

We can’t operate without expectations.

I have a lot of expectations, and some of them are met, some of them are not met. If I get upset when my expectations are not met, that’s an opportunity for me to learn.

When I think that someone else around me has unrealistic expectations, I get to examine my own judgement about their expectations.

I get to ask myself, are their expectations really a problem?

Sometimes what I’m viewing as unrealistic expectations are really another person’s long term goal, or vision, a destination that isn’t clear to me yet.

If I judge those expectations, I’m making someone else wrong for their vision.

Maybe this doesn’t apply to your situation. Perhaps the expectations in question are unrealistic – but is it a problem for them?

If it’s not a problem for them, then I’m making it a problem for me. Why am I making it a problem for me?

Is it because I think I’ll look bad if I don’t stop them, if I don’t have them change their expectations? Will I look like a bad parent? Will I not look good in the eyes of my friends or other relatives?

Am I unwilling to let them discover the error in their own expectations?

This conversation about expectations, and unrealistic expectations is a big juicy bowl of Responsibility thinking that each one of us gets to dig into in life.

Here’s something you can do today.

When you find yourself looking around at others, and judging their expectations – ask yourself “What is there for me to learn about myself in what I’m doing here?“