Transform your life with Responsibility-thinking

Take out the garbage, raise your consciousness, and love your life

Hi. I’m Christopher Avery. More about me below.

I invite you to read more here about Responsibility-thinking. Then, at the bottom of this page, request a free email series that goes deeper.


Responsibility-thinking is a proven technology — an applied behavioral science — for taking charge of your mind. Applying it makes you wiser and happier. Successful people apply it every day to get what they want in life AND get rid of what they don’t want.

My clients are busy, successful people

They are smart, caring, and ambitious. High-performers. Looking very good on the outside.

But on the inside they usually have problems that they think just come along with success:

  • Work-life imbalance. “Balance”, what’s that?
  • Feeling bad about not living up to expectations as a friend, partner, parent, employee.
  • Feeling trapped in obligations — burdened with too many “have to’s”, no choice!
  • Feeling prey to the “jungle out there” — never being good enough.
  • Blocked by the economy, pandemic, time constraints, sucky work culture, bad boss, politics, …
  • “I’m in a white male world — and I’m not one.”
  • “I don’t like certain things about me — the way I look, the way I act.”
  • “I don’t feel like I measure up — never good enough, a poser.”
  • “Why does stuff keep happening to me!? It’s like life is against me.”

If you identify with any of the above, you are not alone.

(More importantly, there really is nothing wrong with you. I can show you)

We live in a “coping culture”

You and I have been taught our whole lives to suck it up and take the bitter with the sweet.

“Coping” with crap is considered a success strategy — a valuable skill set. You are probably great at it.

(“Coping” is a big market for all kinds of content. A recent Amazon search returned 40,000 titles… ”How to Cope with a Bad Boss” etc.)

There’s just one huge problem with coping. You’re never happy, never free.

Your mind has to hold onto and work on that coping continuously — this is the garbage, the constant mental demands, chewing, processing. It’s cumulative and it uses lots of processing power and storage in the mind.

And returns very little actual value.

Responsibility-thinking gets you out of coping

With Responsibility-thinking you can be happy — we call it

“being Free, Powerful, and at Choice”.

And it is available to everyone, all the time.


Over the last 37 years, a couple of brilliant people-developers with great research skills mapped out the natural mental processes by which all people choose to either cope with crap or grow to overcome it forever. Another way to say this is that they uncovered our innate mental (or “cognitive”) process for taking and avoiding Responsibility.

(I can guess what you are thinking: “But I’m responsible! I don’t avoid my responsibilities.”)

I hear you. And, I get to tell you this: There is a humongous difference between being a person of good character and actually taking 100% Responsibility for your life and your mind.

Yes, you are a person of great character — i.e., a responsible person. Let’s check that box.

And yet, people of good character are taught to cope with crap. So I hope you will keep reading.

What this research shows is how easily we choose to cope with crap when we don’t have to.

What does the research show?

Here’s the basic model. We call it The Responsibility Process®. You may have seen it.

Each position in the chart is a natural mental state with its own logic. The way it works is that every time you (and I, and everyone we know) has a problem big or small, The Responsibility Process in your mind gets triggered, and your mind takes you to Lay Blame (where you are sure someone else is the cause of your problem, and there is nothing you can do until they change).

TRP no descriptions

Do you see where this is going?

Laying Blame is easy. It actually feels good, for a while. We vent. We get to be right. We get to complain and feel victimized.

But the problem never ever goes away.

Which means you cope.

Multiply this occurrence by a few hundred, or a few thousand, and your internal life is full of garbage — crap.

And you must get better and better at coping in order to keep your external life intact.

I won’t explain all of The Responsibility Process here, however, I promise to teach you all about it, starting today if you want.

Just realize that it is being applied every day by thousands of successful people around the world to lead themselves and others to take out the garbage and experience much greater freedom, choice, and power.

Who am I?

Hi there, I’m Christopher Avery (Ph.D., if it matters). Thirty years ago I was exploring how to teach engineers and technical professionals about “shared responsibility” so project managers could build successful teams. I studied everything I could find about personal responsibility.

Here’s what I learned: Success experts since Socrates have extolled the virtues of “taking 100% Responsibility.” But they didn’t say how to do it. Just that you should.

So there was no toolset, no technique, no competency to develop, no framework. Just something that you were supposed to do to be successful in life.

Then I ran into two very smart guys and their research — this research. I was hooked. And I’ve been a student, practitioner, and innovator of Responsibility-thinking since then.

I’ve authored two 5-star books, perhaps a thousand articles, commentaries, and other pieces of content; designed award-winning leadership development programs; and taught all over the world.

The Responsibility Process Book

This mental leadership technology called Responsibility-thinking is the most important information I know and have to share. It has transformed my life over and over and over again.

Teamwork is an Individual Skill Book

And I want you to know how to transform your life too with this mental leadership technology.

Let me tell you about a person who is using Responsibility-thinking to change their life.

This story is typical of many

Meet Elaine. After working for years in gate operations at a major airline, she had re-educated herself and moved into project management. That’s when we met and she started applying Responsibility-thinking to her life.

Elaine has so many success stories about changing her life and taking out the garbage.

Elaine realized that she had learned to be a “good girl” (which comes with emotional and behavioral garbage such as not telling the truth and not standing up for yourself so you never offend anyone). So good, in fact, that she would cope with — but not actually face — difficult situations. And that led to loads of crap in her life with her family relationships and the politics at work.

It kept her stuck

Elaine started applying Responsibility-thinking to all of that, and made immediate gains in her freedom, choice, and power. In time she was floating on cloud nine with her family relationships — after taking out 20 or more years of accumulated garbage.

At work, Elaine realized that she was operating at much higher levels of Responsibility than those around her.

(This happens frequently with our clients. They realize that they deserve a better work environment, culture, and leaders, and they find it or create it.)

She kept inviting them to join her in taking Responsibility for the organizational dysfunction, to no avail. Finally, she determined that she had given it her all and decided to seek new opportunities.

So Elaine made a move

She decided she wasn’t a “lifer” at the airline. Elaine made a significant move to the product development side of an insurance company as a senior program exec. This came with a substantial salary increase and a signing bonus. Alas, in less than a year she realized they didn’t want to face real change either, so Elaine went looking for a company that deserved her mental leadership skill set.

(“Deserved.” Have you ever thought about qualifying an employer based on whether they deserve you? Remember the stuck good girl?!? Not anymore!)

Now she is the worldwide program exec for agile change for a major travel industry technology company (with more significant salary bumps and signing bonuses along the way).

And she’s having so much fun. I don’t think she is done growing and adding value, taking out the garbage, and living a life of purpose and joy.

Elaine’s story is just one of dozens and dozens of success stories we can tell.

How do Elaine, others, and I take out the crap while increasing our success?

We apply Responsibility-thinking.

We consistently apply (that is, practice) a half-dozen core models and principles — all based on the behavioral science and the natural working of the mind — that support Responsibility-thinking.

I introduced one of those tools above, The Responsibility Process. It’s a signal — an awareness tool — a natural mental process that gets triggered when things go wrong.

(And things always go wrong — so, I will introduce you to more tools when you are ready.)

With practice, The Responsibility Process in our minds simply lets us know when we are coping and stuck in an unresourceful mental state, and we make new choices.

(You can do this too. I’ll help you take out the garbage.)

More on this later — much more.

And, while everyone is equipped to apply Responsibility-thinking to their life, not everyone is ready and willing to change and grow


Well, the resistant mind — the defensive mind, also known as the “ego” — is very strong. We all have one. It likes things the way they are. It likes to stay in charge. It likes to be right. It doesn’t want to change, to grow. It seeks control, approval, and safety.

The defensive mind glorifies in coping.

Many successful people are sold on coping and aren’t willing to apply Responsibility-thinking. They don’t really want to grow.

So, if you prefer the false comfort and safety of a coping life, then read no further. This is a waste of your time and energy.

Otherwise, we have so much more to show you. We invite you to sign up for a series of complimentary emails to learn even more about Responsibility-thinking and the technology of mental leadership.

The series — Responsibility-Thinking: From Coping to Growing — is all content. No fluff. We go deeper into the most important tools so you can make an informed decision about whether Responsibility-thinking is for you. The series is three emails. One a day for three days — all value-packed, no selling. At the end of the third email, you can request more information if you want.

We’ll also consider you a member of the worldwide Responsibility Community to whom we send occasional high-value (no selling) content. We always treat you with the utmost respect. No sales ploys. No gimmicks. No pressure. Complete transparency. Our approach is to serve first with value and human kindness.

Sign up here

Expect to receive the first email immediately. Opt-out at any time if the series is not for you.

You may also receive a confirmation email requesting you to confirm your email address. Please click the confirmation link or you won’t receive anything.

double line logo dark circle