Space: Be, Do, Have

“Between stimulus and response is a space.
In that space is the freedom and power to choose.”

-Steven Covey


Be, Do, Have

You are a human being, and yet we have so much focus on human doing.

You’ve heard me say before that when things go wrong, we’ve been taught to ask the question, “What should I do? What’s the right answer?”

I’ve learned is that those questions map to Shame and Obligation on The Responsibility Process®.

Those questions actually keep us from producing amazing results and keep us from freedom, choice, and power.

A better question to ask is, “What do I want? Or, what do we want?”

So, “Oh, team, look at this mess we’re in. Let’s stop Blaming and Justifying, and ask ourselves, what do we want about this?”

That question actually gets us to more of a genius place in our minds where we can access our inspiration, reasoning and our abilities.

I’m reminded of an old equation that I learned years ago.

The three conditions of existence, the things that have our attention on a moment to moment basis are be, do, and have – beingness, doingness, and havingness.

My culture, Western culture, taught me to think in terms of an equation that puts do first and be last. It goes something like this.

If I can just do smarter, do more certifications or degrees, if I can do faster, if I can do more hours, then I’ll have success and then I’ll be happy.

There’s just one issue with that.

We’re only as good as our next achievement, which means that we’re never good enough in that equation and in that scenario.

That’s human doing. That’s not human being.

The wisdom literature, the spiritual literature, sometimes the Eastern philosophies teach us to look at these three conditions a little bit differently.

They say, “Know yourself. Understand who you are.” So let’s start with being.

Do you know what your integrity is? Do you know what your authenticity is? Do you know what your heart is? Do you know what your values are? Do you know what your boundaries are?

If so, then you’re doingness will emanate from that. And it can only be perfect, perfect given the antecedent conditions.

You’re willing to learn and grow, which means you’re willing to have the results that come from that, and then you can use that as input to understanding more about who you are.

Studies have shown that when people ask you to point at yourself, you don’t point at your head. You point at your heart. You point at your heart, which means that this beingness is pretty darn important.

Here’s something you can do today.

Remember, every time you hear the word human or human being, remember to check in and ask yourself, who am I?

Who am I today? And is my doingness in line with that?

You can find lots more resources on our website.

Send all of your questions to me at I look forward to hearing from you.

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Posted in Featured, Space
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