Cause/Effect

The Responsibility Process® is all about our perceptions of cause and effect. Everything below the line: Lay Blame, Justify, Shame, Obligation, Quit, are ways of responding to a problem when you think that you are at effect.

I can’t do anything because I’m not powerful enough. The power is outside of me. We call that being a victim, right? We call that coping.

Above the line at Responsibility, we are both that cause and effect. Above the line we know that we’re powerful. We know we’re free.

When we know we’re at choice, we know we have the ability to overcome anything and change our lives. That’s the mental state of Responsibility.

There’s a story about a guy who would go out to bars every night. Every night he would get into fist fights and it was never his fault. It was always their fault. Can you relate to this?

Maybe you can’t build a team, you can’t get the job that you want. You can’t find the relationship that you want. You can’t lose weight. You can’t change your organization. The problems you’re facing are always outside of you.

Here’s something you can start to do about it today.

Make two lists. Title one list “effect,” and one list “cause.”

On the effect list, write down everything in your life where you feel like you’re at effect.

This could be things you’re stuck on, things you can’t change, things you wish you could change, things you’re unhappy about, things you’re coping with – write all of these down.

Now go to the cause list, and write down all the ways you feel in charge of your life. The situations that are going the way you like.

Maybe you’ve had some goals around wage earning that have been met, and you feel really on top of your game there.

Maybe you have a fantastic relationship. Maybe you’re really focused on your fitness goals. Give yourself credit for the things that are going well.

Now take another look at your effect list.

I want you to look at that from the point of view of that guy that got in fist fights every night that were never his fault.

One day he decided to really take ownership of his life.  He looked underneath that very simplistic cause/effect logic and he found out that there were deeper causes inside of him.

Some things for him to shed some light on, to confront, and to learn about. That’s the opportunity for you.