What if nothing’s wrong with you?

What if nothing’s wrong with you?

Awareness is one of the three keys to Responsibility and self-leadership.

Awareness means what your attention is on.

For instance, when in Lay Blame, your attention is on framing someone as the cause of your problem.

In Responsibility your attention is on some form of the question “what do I want about this problem that I can take ownership of?”

Awareness is cool. It’s the root to mindfulness and to developing your consciousness.

(This post began as a Responsibility Community Newsletter. It takes 3 minutes to read.)

In my Responsibility practice, awareness means that every time something in my universe isn’t quite right (and thus I’m confused, upset, frustrated, annoyed, or angry), there is an opportunity for a new awareness.

A new truth.

A greater consciousness.

So, here’s one to try on:

There’s nothing wrong with you.

What if you are operating perfectly – according to your conditioning and programming?

Here’s the point.

Most smart people learned early in childhood to be self-critical – to catch themselves in a mistake faster than their parents, siblings, or teachers could say, “what’s wrong with you?”

They learned to say, “what’s wrong with me!?” while making various gestures.

“What’s wrong with me!?” maps to Shame in The Responsibility Process.

In Shame, I’m the problem. I Lay Blame on myself for what’s not right.

Then a lifetime of self-beating and self-loathing begins.

Many Responsibility students discover – through practice – that Shame is their “favorite” place to get stuck in The Responsibility Process.

What to do about it?

Consider that you are made perfectly, and you are also operating normally.

Even though things happen that aren’t quite right.

Consider that there is nothing wrong with you. You just have your attention on “what’s wrong with me?!” instead of “Hmmm, what do I want about this situation that I can take ownership of and do something about?”

Only then can you pay attention to another new awareness – a higher truth.

You are always doing the best you know how (in each moment, given your consciousness and the context).

Try that on.

You may be thinking: I’m not sure I ALWAYS do my best.

No. That’s not what the principle says.

In hindsight, you see dozens of things that you “should” have done differently. But that hindsight was not available to you in the moment when you made the mistake or rolled your eyes or said something ugly.

So, how do you put that hindsight to work?

You could open a “Catch Sooner Game” around any habitual programming or conditioning you want to change.

I describe Catch Sooner in The Responsibility Process (book). However, I apply it with students over and over in Responsibility Immersion so it becomes a new awareness and habit.

As people advance in their Responsibility practice, they learn to stop blaming themselves because they are much more aware of their programming and their power to change it.

So you can skip past Shame on The Responsibility Process.

Then, a really cool awareness dawns on you.

If nothing’s wrong with you, there’s nothing wrong with anyone!

Everyone is always doing their best in that moment (given their consciousness and context).

When you develop that awareness, you start erasing Lay Blame from The Responsibility Process in your mind.

Then, your attention is no longer on what’s wrong with people – either yourself or others.

And you are much more powerful to respond to situations and systems with less judgment and greater awareness.

To your freedom, choice, and power.
Christopher Avery and The Responsibility Company team

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